topics: |  management | self-help

an uplifiting story, with lessons for the individual and the organization.
very much in the chicken soup genre, except that it's a much longer
narrative.

The story revolves around Hope, the vice-president of human resources at
EZTech.  A born optimist, she has entered a darkly negative phase in the last
year since her husband walked off.  The opening pages paint a grim portrait:

        [as she is entering office] She thought of the various routes she
	could take from the elevator to her office. If worse comes to worse,
	I’ll make a mad dash for it, she thought. She wasn’t ready to talk to
	anyone yet, and she certainly didn’t want anyone to see her until she
	could carry on a normal conversation without crying. 1

her negativity comes out as an endless series of complaints.  it affects her
work and her family.  daughter Lauren says: "every time you say how much you
hate your life, it’s saying that you hate your life with us. If I’m a
complainer, it’s because I had a good teacher."

Interweaved into the story are various tools for implementing the policy -
such as "No Complaining cards" which can be used both for the individual and the
organization are partly embedded in the story.  More tools are given as
appendices.  

One wonders how the idea of formalizing such a structure struck Gordon.
Here is what he has to say on this:

    The idea for this book came from Dwight Cooper, the CEO of PPR, a health
    care staffing company, who told me about a No Complaining Policy he had
    implemented in his company and the positive impact it was having.

Excerpts

where there is a void, negativity will fill it.  ...

within every organization you get voids in communication between leaders and
their employees and between different teams and team members. it happens
everywhere: with sports teams, work teams, family teams. within these voids,
negativity starts to breed and grow and, eventually, like a cancer it will
spread if you don’t address it.

people don’t just want to be seen and heard. they want to hear and see, and
if they don’t feel like they are part of the company then they will assume
the worst and act accordingly.

She hated hospitals, and even worse she hated waiting in hospitals. 36

"... when you complain, you travel down the negative road. So which road are
you on, Hope?"
     "I think it’s pretty clear," Hope said as she calmed down a bit. "But
when you feel the way I do, ... besides, what about venting ... it’s healthy to
vent? psychologists say it all the time."

We were born to complain. As babies, we cried our hearts out to get what we
want. ... We cried to get our way all the time, and it worked like a charm.
Unfortunately, far too many are still using an adult form of crying...

For years psychologists had their patients hit punching bags to relieve anger
only to find out recently that this practice creates more violence.  It works
the same with complaining. When we complain, we feed the negativity.

Step 1: you do a No Complaining Day.  I call it a complaining fast. You
quit cold turkey.  It’s great because it causes you to monitor your thoughts
and realize how negative you really are.

Step 2: When you do complain, use your complaining to your advantage... every
complaint has an opposite. If there is something you don’t like, then there
is something you do like. use your complaining to discover what we do want
and do like. ... we can say, ‘Okay, I don’t like this or I’m not happy about
this. So then, what do I want? What will make me happy? What thought will
bring me peace instead of frustration?

The goal is not to eliminate all complaining. The intent is to eliminate the
kind of mindless complaining that doesn’t serve a greater purpose...  it's a
difference of intent. With mindless complaining, you are mindlessly focusing
on problems; however, with justified complaining you identify a problem and
the complaint moves you toward a solution.

each year Robert, the head of sales, had to let go some of his negative sales
and customer service people. ... one person can’t make a
team, but one person can break a team.  And worse, negative people can scare
away every customer you have. 60

John Wooden - the legendary UCLA basketball coach - never focused on winning.
He focused on developing his players. He focused on improving their
fundamentals, skills, character, and teamwork. He focused on people instead
of outcomes and as a result he won ... a lot.  Of course the goal is to
win. But winning is just a goal and not the focus. Winning is the
by-product... 79



---blurb
Negativity in the workplace costs businesses billions of dollars and impacts
the morale, productivity and health of individuals and teams. In The No
Complaining Rule: Positive Ways to Deal with Negativity at Work, acclaimed
motivational speaker Jon Gordon shares an enlightening story that
demonstrates how you can conquer negativity and inspire others to adopt a
positive attitude. Based on one company’s successful No Complaining Rule, the
powerful principles and actionable plan are practical and easy-to-follow,
making this book an ideal read for managers, team leaders and anyone
interested in generating positive energy.